Didn’t go to work today, should I be dissipointed?

Yes, absolutely, considering it was my plan to go to work and that hasn’t occurred. However I shouldn’t feel guilty, and I shouldn’t feel bad. I shouldn’t judge myself for not going, as clearly I’m not ready to go back to work if I can’t bring myself to go in just for one measly hour. In fact just the anxiety that was triggered from the idea of going to work this morning has left me mentally drained. It’s only 7:00pm and I feel like it’s 1:00 am.  And you see this is exactly where my problem comes in. You know when you’re really tired and you just want to go to bed, because you’re just that tired? Well when that happens to me, instead of accepting it and acknowledging that I’m tired, I interpret it as “omg I feel so shit, my life sucks etc”. I somehow get confused and end up thinking that I’m really down, when actually I’m just tired. I know that If I just go to bed, relax, watch a movie and sleep it off I’ll feel absolutely fine tomorrow.

The pain in my side is kind of flaring up because of today’s events, I’m finding it a little bit harder to relax than normal and as a result of that I don’t think I want to play hearthstone today haha. I played a few games but I’m just not feeling it at all.

The good news is today I had an awesome experience with a viewer who stumbled upon my stream. A girl from Denmark, not sure how old but seemed mature. We spoke about anxiety and our situations, and she showed some support and made some really good points about anxiety. It’s very clear to me that this person has gone through similar experiences, and it’s really awesome that she had the courage and confidence to say something. This is the first viewer who’s reached out to me in regards to what my stream is about and that is absolutely fantastic news. It means that even though it’s still very early days,  my stream is already slowly reaching new people and this makes me feel pretty good.

I’m a bit exhausted, so I’m going to take a nice hot shower :D…and go watch a movie.

I’ll be back on Wednesday, with more energy and hopefully more followers!

Until then,




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Published by: Kinkymuffin

I've been through a lot, like many others before me, and many more to come. Drug addiction is no joke. It's a war that never ends. I've learned to cope with my addiction by writing truthfully about it. If it can help just one person, then it was worth it.

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