So I’ve arrived in the UK, and I’m not feeling too bad overall. Mike has been fantastic and the journey went really well. Didn’t really have any panic attacks and managed to sleep at least 80% of the entire journey. It’s also funnily enough kind of left me not jet lagged, because I slept for so long it just worked out that way.
It’s amazing how much comfort and balance you can get from talking to the right person. Mike is like my own personal therapist that’s always around. Whenever we have conversations I always feel comfortable, happy to the truth and he’s always got something interesting to say.
I do believe coming here was the right decision. I’m optimistic about the future and I think Mike is going to be fantastic in helping me get into a normal life style / structure. We’ve talked absolutely loads but we just seem to be able to talk for ages. I guess it’s sort of a win / win because it’s therapeutic for me, allows Mike some perspective on what I’m going through and how he can help, but also I believe we both find the conversations quite intellectually stimulating.
Unfortunately did have a bit of a bad Skype conversation with my mum. Had to basically cut her off, but I believe her intentions were good, it’s just the way she was pushing them through came across very badly. I don’t hold anything against her, or Duncan, or anyone for that fact. I know that everyone is just trying to help, yet it can be really difficult to know how to help when you’re not me. Not in my mind. Everyone’s mind is different, so giving someone the perfect help is basically impossible. It’s all about finding a balance.
It did upset me a bit, but I talked it over with Mike and I’m alright now. We also went to get a cup of coffee and the song playing was Rose and my favorite, so that triggered me really quickly into feeling sad about Rose. I’m reading a book though at the moment called “Mindfulness” and it’s very good. Something along the lines of instead of fearing or facing your emotions thoughts, you just have to be with them. It’s like instead of doing, your being. It’s hard to explain, but the book does that a lot better than I can.
Anyway, just a quick blog here. I might write a longer one tonight, but I’ve got to go out now. We’ve got some shopping to do for dinner and any chance to get out of the house I will yes too so. So more interesting blog later on hopefully.
At least at the moment I’m safe, comfortable, and not feeling too bad. Which for me, is fantastic.
Hope it keeps getting better.