This was written around two years ago when I was having a lot of problems with my family. They were just trying to help me, and felt like they were trying to control me. I wrote this but never released it, until now.
People are so tricky. Just when you think you finally understand someone, they turn around and do something that you cannot get your head around. Then you’re stuck in this stress inducing situation where you don’t know what to do with yourself. Do you stand your ground, because you don’t believe you’ve done anything that warrants their reaction, or do you give in to their demands.
According to someone I know, “not agreeing” with them, is also creating an unpleasant atmosphere. It was such a good week, progress was made, and then out of nowhere it gets stomped on and broken. Why? Is there something I’m missing?
I don’t get people sometimes, even the nicest of people have their moment where they are just completely unreasonable. What do you do in that situation? I hide, because I know if I speak to them while my emotions are running it’ll just create more problems. Yet apparently that is sulking and I shouldn’t do that either. In fact it kind of seems like I shouldn’t do anything at this stage. I can’t move a muscle without something being wrong with it.
Then said person comes in and acts like there’s nothing wrong. I’m sorry but that doesn’t work for me. I am hurt and upset by the things that were said this morning, I cannot simply forgive and forget, because I disagree with it down to the last breath of air in my body. I don’t want it to be awkward, and I won’t hold a grudge. This person has done far too much for me, I would never forget that, and I love them to bits. Sometimes though it’s just difficult to deal with these kind of situations. It’s hard to tell someone who’s done nothing but look after you and care for you they are being unreasonable.
So I guess I just wait, until it’s less awkward or I feel differently about the situation. I certainly don’t right now, in fact just writing this gets me rustled. For me it’s important to have a good week and feel pleased with everything. I had that, for the first time in months with my mum, and now it’s gone. Completely overshadowed by a few overly harsh comments that seemed to have come from nowhere.
It makes me sad, I’m right in the middle of a opiate withdrawal so it’s already tough for me. Just getting through each day is challenging. I didn’t need more stuff on top, especially stuff that seems to have been fabricated out of thin air.
I was considering going away for a day or two, just to get some space. I’m still considering it, but I guess running away from the problem isn’t the best use of my time. Still I really don’t know how I’m going resolve this, because I’m not comfortable with accepting what’s been said because I honestly believe it’s totally unreasonable.
People are tricky, whether they want to be or not. I’m sure I’m tricky too, but we all try our best, and I guess that’s what I should try and focus on if I want to resolve this in the most pleasant way possible.