It’s been a while since I wrote one of these, but this is an important one and probably the easiest way for me to let people know what is happening.
Sometimes in life, even when you try your best, it’s not enough, and you fail. Accepting this is the only way you can turn that failure into success, and that’s what I’m hoping to do now.
I tried my best with the help of my family and friends to taper off the opiates and return to a normal life. Unfortunately it just hasn’t been possible. I couldn’t do it, as the cravings and addiction are too intense.
So now I have accepted that I need professional assistance. On Monday, I will be going into a detox program, which will get me off the opiates. As soon as possible after that, I will be going to rehab, which lasts approximately 5 months. During this time I will not really be around, and rarely contactable as part of the rules to this rehab are basically being more or less cut off from the outside world.
I would be lying if I said I wasn’t scared shitless. It feels like I’m going to jail. I’m not even allowed my phone.
I know that I have to do this though, it’s reached that point and I will get through this and out the other end. It’s probably going to suck, but ultimately it’s the best chance I have at returning to a normal life.
I’ll be able to access facebook occasionally, so please feel free to message me! Support will help a lot with this, as I imagine I will feel quite sad, and lonely at least to start with.
You never think it’s going to be you who has to be one of those people who goes to Rehab, but then you wake up and it is you. That’s not easy to accept, and even harder to resolve.
I’m so anxious…but it’s what I need.