So it’s been a while

I haven’t written a blog in a while. I’m not sure why, well yes I am, I find it really hard to keep going with anything. However I’m starting to understand that in order to do something, you have to look forward to it. Everyday now I wake up and I try to think what am I looking forward to? I’m looking forward to doing a Tafe course soon that I enjoy, most likely something to do with social work. I’m looking forward to improving my fitness by running. I’m looking forward to running a marathon sometime next year or maybe even the end of this year. I’m looking forward to when I get better at streaming and have more viewers. I’m looking forward to seeing my parents again in a few weeks when I go to the UK for a month. I’m looking forward to getting my green P’s on my motorcycle. I’m looking forward to changing my job and trying something else part time while I study. I’m looking forward to meditating with my dad’s lovely new wife Philamae. Neither of us can do it properly yet but with practice hopefully we’ll get there! I’ve recently discovered than in order to be happy you have to allow yourself to enjoy the moment and not worry about things you can’t control. My dad, who is probably the most analytical and intelligent person I have ever known, said to me the other day “You have to enjoy the journey instead of just focusing on the destination”. This really stuck with me, as this is pretty much what I don’t do. Until recently I haven’t being enjoying the adventure. All I was doing is worrying about what will happen next or what already happened. Now whenever I start to do that I simply remind myself that it’s not under my control and I should enjoy the moment, the feelings that I am experiencing right now. I am much happier for it. I’ve got more energy and I’m not taking it quite so hard when things go wrong. You’re always going to have ups and downs, and it’s important to accept it and just enjoy the moment. When you’re feeling down, try thinking about looking forward to when you feel better. It’s uncanny how well it works. You can’t force yourself to feel better, so don’t worry about it feeling down, just simply accept it and look forward to when it passes. It works. If you look forward to something you are basically pre-emptively making it happen. Of course this is a loose term, you cannot “look forward to being able to fly” and then suddenly sprout wings and take off to the skies. Well actually you can try but it probably won’t end well. My point is that when it comes to your feelings you can look forward to having other feelings and it will help. The reason for this is looking forward to something is a good feeling. If you look forward to when you are not feeling so down, without knowing it you’re already making yourself feel better because you’re now looking forward to something.

It’s still a long road ahead for me. There will be many challenges ahead. There always will be. But what’s a life without challenge?

P.S Thanks to Lannah for given me the motivation to continue writing.




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Published by: Kinkymuffin

I've been through a lot, like many others before me, and many more to come. Drug addiction is no joke. It's a war that never ends. I've learned to cope with my addiction by writing truthfully about it. If it can help just one person, then it was worth it.

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